Crack

Dear Diary,

Don't smoke crack, Diary. It's not good for your health or mental state. Very bad stuff.... specially the discount crack you get from hookers.

No diary, not that crack.... the kind you smoke. Anywho, if you smoke crack, I will be very dissapointed.

That brings me to my next topic....

Don't smoke crack.

Love, now and forever,
Jeffy Jeff


P.S. Don't smoke crack!

FEH FEH

Dear Diary

I have been away for some time, and for that I am sorry. You will be glad to hear I have a new job, my loving diary. Well, I had it since mid January, but it is new information to you. I work for a company called Hemlock Semiconducter! They pay me money!!!!!1!!1!!! It's a good job with good pay and some benefits.

Diary, I am still in a relationship with Cari, so no sex for you.

Well.... maybe a little. I love you too diary!

Well, Diary, my main topic for discussion today is a heated debate in the news... "Is exposing one self to kids at Chuck E' Cheese bad."

Now, I know what you're thinking, Diary, of course it isn't! How can it be? But I assure you, the cops told me it is. It is a very bad thing to do. Apparently cops will even go as far as arresting you (or beating you if you are Black or Mexican) for doing this act. Now, I didn't believe it at first, so I continued doing it until I was caught again at a place called "Genjie's Japanese Steakhouse." Diary, I just couldn't help it! I was watching this cook guy flip all this food onto this giant skillet and I couldn't keep myself calm. I felt the only way to express my enjoyment of the show was to expose myself to the 8 year old's birthday party across the room.

By the way, Diary.... I need you to bail me from jail.

well, Diary it is time for me to go!

Love, now and forever
Jeffy Jeff